While knowing there are several reasons why women have abortions, it is hard to understand for some of us. A pregnancy is, I believe, meant to be a beautiful thing. It can be an incredibly horrible time in someone’s life if their personal circumstances are problematic and complex, and not under their control.
Women have abortions for many reasons: abandonment, living conditions, fear, misinformation, or selfishness.
Trying to understand why a woman who possesses one of the greatest gifts imaginable, would look at it as anything other than that, is beyond me. So, in an attempt to gain some knowledge of this situation, I did my research and compiled some genuine reasons given to me by some real expectant moms and moms who have aborted. I have agreed to change their names for obvious reasons.
Let us first look at Sue Ellen.
Sue Ellen is a 25-year-old graduate of Indiana University-Bloomington, holding degrees in Actuarial Sciences and Accounting, and has a position with a prestigious accounting firm downtown Chicago.
Sue Ellen has a serious boyfriend, Jess, a 26-year-old promising young stock broker at the Chicago Stock Exchange. The two of them agreed to move in together after they both graduated from college, and each obtained a job in the city a couple of years ago.
Early last year, Sue found out she was pregnant. She could not understand how this happened because she religiously obtained her birth control pills from Planned Parenthood and never missed one, or so she thought. Sue and Jess had briefly discussed marriage and children, and “tentatively” decided not to start a family until they were comfortably settled in a home and in their careers. Well, now that Sue is actually pregnant, she has allowed her mind to wonder into motherland, and liked what she had seen.
Sue decided to go to Planned Parenthood in order to confirm or dismiss her findings. She was definitely pregnant. Sue asked the intake/staffer “How did I manage to get pregnant? I always take my pill regularly.” The staffer replied, rather matter of factually, “You had to have taken it late. There is no way you could have gotten pregnant otherwise.”
When Jess got home that evening, Sue Ellen was really happy and excited. She was in desperate hope that Jess would share in her excitement. After a wonderful dinner, Sue broke the news to Jess. Jess responded. “Really? Are you sure? You are going to get rid of it, aren’t you?” Sue Ellen was shocked! She quickly began to paint the picture of the three of them in a cute little house with a little goo goo’er, and visions of Jess with the little one, playing by the fireplace and the happiness the baby would bring. Jess looked Sue Ellen in the eye and said “I have no desire to be a father. We discussed this and determined that we are not ready. Look at all we would be giving up. Losing your salary would force us to move, just for starters.” Jess and Sue lived in a swank rooftop in the River North area of Chicago, only blocks from Navy Pier. “You know I love you, but we can’t bring a baby into our incomplete lives,” he said. “We are not ready and can’t afford one, so get rid of it! I’ll pay for everything.”
The day Sue Ellen went for her initial appointment, she was deeply depressed. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself that it was the right thing to do, the weight on her heart was real and felt like a ton of bricks. Two days after the abortion, Sue Ellen could not help feeling empty and cheap, only she did not know how to express it. Jess noticed how miserable she had become and convinced her they would begin to look for a house in the suburbs, and plan that little family. It did seem to cheer her up.
Jess left Sue Ellen one month later. He said he didn’t love her that way anymore! Was Sue Ellen being used for her warmth? Her love? Her body? Did Jess care about Sue Ellen, or his lifestyle?
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Lake County Right to Life serves primarily Lake County and does extend outreach into Porter, LaPorte and St. Joseph Counties. and also partners with The SHARE Group in presenting topics such as human trafficking and suicide awareness and prevention.